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The Bear Cuddling a Cub

By Sofia Lamdichi | October 14, 2024


Photo Credit: Pixabay


There is a current sensation in the dating scene involving significantly older individuals dating younger people. While age gaps have been performed in films before, they typically feature an older man with a younger woman. However, there has been a prominent shift in Hollywood with older women dating younger men on the big screen.


The films "The Idea of You" and "A Family Affair" both depict a storyline featuring an older woman dating a more youthful man. Despite the quality of the films and the on-screen chemistry between the characters, it's impossible to overlook the societal reactions to such relationships. There is a noticeable tendency for people to pass judgment and express astonishment when the woman is older in the relationship. This reaction stems from the traditional belief that women should be cared for and guarded by their partners. However, Hollywood is making efforts to challenge this stigma, as an increasing number of films portray older women in relationships.


Is it suitable to celebrate large age gaps in relationships? Regardless of gender, a significant age difference can lead to variations in emotional maturity between partners. Many critics have expressed disapproval of films like "As Good as It Gets" and "An Education," which feature an older man and a younger woman in a relationship, citing concerns about predatory behavior. If society finds it uncomfortable for a senior and a freshman to date due to the vulnerability of the younger person, why should the film industry attempt to normalize relationships between individuals with significant age gaps, such as someone in their 40s dating someone in their 20s?


The determination of what is morally just or socially acceptable is made by members of society. Each person engages in a social contract with their community to make judgments in situations where there may be choices of right and wrong. To gauge the University at Albany community's perspective on social acceptability, I posed the question to students: "Is it socially acceptable for a college freshman and a college senior to date?" Here are some of their responses.


“It is weird for someone turning 22 to be dating someone who is freshly 18 because the freshman is more vulnerable,” freshman Udochi Uzoaru said. “It is legal though, to each their own.”  


“As someone who is 21, I would just feel weird dating someone 18, that’s my brother’s age - I can tell there is a maturity difference,” freshman Sam Nelson said. “Some 18-year-olds I have met have different thought processes than me. ---It depends on the person I guess, like some 18-year-olds I have met at every age, more mature than me in some cases, so it depends on the person.”


“As an 18-year-old woman, when it comes to the type of guys I look to have relationships with, older is better,” an anonymore UAlbany freshman said. “As girls mature three years faster than guys our age, I have always felt like the emotional intelligence level of guys older than me is more at par with my own. However, I could never imagine myself with a guy younger than me even by a year, it just feels wrong.”


Overall, these responses from UAlbany students indicate that there’s a general discomfort towards relationships with a large age gap. However, recent films appear to challenge this perspective. While a significant age difference in a relationship may not necessarily be illegal, it could potentially lead to toxicity. Nevertheless, it is not inherently immoral for Hollywood to portray such dynamics in films, as it prompts viewers to accept different relationship dynamics, not partake in them.

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